Julie's Review: Fitness Junkie

Author: Jo Piazza & Lucy Sykes
Series: None
Publication Date: July 11, 2017
Publisher: Doubleday
Pages: 304
Obtained: publisher via Netgalley
Genre:  Contemporary Fiction, Humor
Rating: 4/5
Bottom Line: A delightful, funny book about the fitness industry fads
Grab, Just get it at the library, or Remove from your TBR list? Grab

Summary: When Janey Sweet, CEO of a couture wedding dress company, is photographed in the front row of a fashion show eating a bruffin—the delicious lovechild of a brioche and a muffin—her best friend and business partner, Beau, gives her an ultimatum: Lose thirty pounds or lose your job. Sure, Janey has gained some weight since her divorce, and no, her beautifully cut trousers don't fit like they used to, so Janey throws herself headlong into the world of the fitness revolution, signing up for a shockingly expensive workout pass, baring it all for Free the Nipple yoga, sweating through boot camp classes run by Sri Lankan militants and spinning to the screams of a Lycra-clad instructor with rage issues. At a juice shop she meets Jacob, a cute young guy who takes her dumpster-diving outside Whole Foods on their first date. At a shaman's tea ceremony she meets Hugh, a silver fox who holds her hand through an ayahuasca hallucination And at a secret exercise studio Janey meets Sara Strong, the wildly popular workout guru whose special dance routine has starlets and wealthy women flocking to her for results that seem too good to be true. As Janey eschews delicious carbs, pays thousands of dollars to charlatans, and is harassed by her very own fitness bracelet, she can't help but wonder: Did she really need to lose weight in the first place? A hilarious send-up of the health and wellness industry, Fitness Junkie is a glorious romp through the absurd landscape of our weight-obsessed culture. ~Amazon.com

Review:  I'm not a fitness fanatic, okay I don't even really like working out because it feels like a chore, so the women in Fitness Junkie, who are obsessed with every trend, I don't get them. Seriously. I get the need to be healthy and well (I need to be better at it) but these women view it as their lives and in some ways a competition. Who's into the newest trend? Have you been invited to the super secret workout location? What about this diet and that, etc? To me, it seems like they are bored and trying to find ways of filling a void.

What Ms. Piazza and Ms. Sykes do well is satire of an industry that seems to be a bit full of itself. No one in the fitness/lifestyle world is without reproach. Their heroine, Janey, even begins to drink the kool-aid for a while until she drank too much of it. Janey's best friend, Beau, tells her that she needs to take a 3 month break from their successful business so that she can lose 30 lbs she's put on. She's the face of the business and well she can't be seen as she is currently. So she turns to her best gal pal, CJ, who is always on the up and up on the lastest fitness routine and dietary restrictions.

Of course, the novel isn't just about fitness, but it's about Janey's journey into figuring out what it is that she wants to do for the rest of her life and if some friendships really do have an expiration date. I loved Janey and wanted her to go after Beau in the worst way but in the end I think she got him where it really counted and when it counted.

For those that love a book with a sense of humor and purpose, then Fitness Junkie is for you.





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Julie's Review: The Ballad of Barnabas Pierkiel

Author: Magdalena Zyzak
Series: None
Publication Date: January 14, 2014
Publisher: Henry Holt
Pages: 288
Obtained: Publisher
Genre:  Humor, Folklore
Rating: 3.5/5
Bottom Line: A politically humorous debut that was hard for me to connect with.
Grab, Just get it at the library, or Remove from your TBR list? just get it at the library

Summary: Set in the quaint (though admittedly backward) fictional nation of Scalvusia in 1939, The Ballad of Barnabas Pierkiel follows the exploits of a young swineherd with romantic delusions of grandeur. Desperate to attract the voluptuous Roosha, the Gypsy concubine of the local boot-and-shoe magnate, Barnabas and his short-legged steed Wilhelm get embroiled in a series of scandals and misadventures, as every attempt at wooing ends in catastrophe. After the mysterious death of an important figure in the community, a witch-hunt ensues, and a stranger falls from the sky. Barnabas begins to see the terrible tide of history turning in his beloved hometown. The wonderfully eccentric supporting cast includes a priest driven mad by a fig tree, a gang of louts who taunt our reluctant hero at every turn, and a dim-witted vagabond with a goat for a wife. Even as her characters brush up against one of the darkest moments of the twentieth century, Magdalena Zyzak's humor and prose delight in the absurdities of the human animal. ~powells.com  

Review: The Ballad of Barnabas Pierkiel is a quirky modern day folk-story about a young man coming into his own while his country and the world around him begins to fall apart. Barnabas is a smart young man that no one takes seriously because of his status within the community. It doesn't seem to bother him much except when it comes to his object of affection, Roosha.

Among the humor, is a story of a country at the crossroads of choosing their future. They are stuck between the past and the uncertain future. The town of Odolechka demonstrates on a small scale with the inhabitants. It's hard to believe that this is Ms. Zyzak's first novel because her writing is lush and descriptive. Her use of humor is unlike any other book I've read. It is used in a way that not only makes you laugh but it makes you think. It takes true talent to get the use of humor correct in the first try.

While it might not have resonated with me, I think those who enjoy "dramedy" books, will thoroughly enjoy this one. I will definitely look for Ms. Zyzak's books in the future to see what else she does with her talent. 

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Julie's Review: The Tao of Martha

Summary: One would think that with her impressive list of bestselling self-improvement memoirs Jen Lancaster would have it all together by now. One would be wrong. After all, shes no Martha Stewart. And thats why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of Americas overachieving older sister—the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade. By immersing herself in Marthas media empire, Jen embarks on a yearlong quest to take herself, her house, her husband (and maybe even her pets) to the next level—from closet organization to party planning. Maybe Jen can avoid food poisoning if she follows Marthas dictates on proper storage. Maybe she can rid her workout clothes of meatball stains by using Marthas laundry tips. Maybe she can create a more meaningful anniversary celebration than getting drunk in the pool with her husband. Again. And maybe shell discover that the key to happiness does, in fact, lie in Marthas perfectly arranged cupboards and charcuterie platters. ~powells.com

Review: Thinking I might give audio another go, I went with Michelle's recommendation of The Tao of Martha by Jen Lancaster. As you know, I adore her. I've seen her in person a few different times and she is super funny and friendly. So when Michelle told me JL narrated this one, I knew it was perfect for me.

Jen needs a little organization in her life and so she turns to the goddess of it, Martha Stewart. Determined to live by Martha's edicts for a year, she begins her journey. 2011 was a crap year from Jen and Fletch, so she's determined to have a better 2012. She truly thinks her life would be that much easier if she just was more strict and more organized.

It is when Jen shows her heart that she is at her best. It is through Maizy's illness that we see just how much she adores her furry children. How she will do anything to help them. Listening to this at work and trying not to cry was difficult. Thank god for the invention of Kleenex.

Jen always makes me laugh and this experiment is no different. I admire her gusto and her "be awesome" credo. Not every thing she aspires to do under Martha's tutelage goes well but that's why I love her.

I loved the part where she made fun of Fletch for his prepping but then went all gung-ho with it herself. She justified it by saying she was planning and that canning was essential to the Tao of Martha. I also love how Fletch is still her voice of reason. He knows how to talk her down from the ledge and reminds her what the the true meaning of her year long project is.

Final Take: 4/5


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Alice's Review: Size 12 and Ready to Rock

Summary: Summer break . . . and the livin' ain't easy! Just because the students at New York College have flown the coop doesn't mean assistant residence hall director Heather Wells can relax. Fischer Hall is busier than ever, filled with squealing thirteen- and fourteen-year-old girls attending the first ever Tania Trace Teen Rock Camp, hosted by pop sensation Tania Trace herself—who just happens to be newly married to Heather's ex-boyfriend, heartthrob Jordan Cartwright. But the real headache begins when the producer of a reality TV show starring Tania winds up dead . . . and it's clear that the star was the intended victim. Grant Cartwright, head of Cartwright Records, wants to keep his daughter-in-law (and his highest-earning performer) alive. So he hires his oldest son, black sheep of the family and private investigator Cooper Cartwright—who just happens to be Heather's new fiancÉ. Heather should leave the detecting to Cooper. But with a dorm full of hysterical mini-divas-in-training, she can't help but get involved. And after Tania shares a really shocking secret with her, this reality suddenly becomes more dangerously real than anyone ever anticipated. ~amazon.com

Review:  It has been almost five years since we last saw Heather Wells.  Not much has changed since then.  She is happily and secretly engaged to sexy private eye Cooper, she’s still the Assistant Director of the “Death” Dorm, err I mean Residence Hall at fictional New York College, and she’s still funny.

I really enjoy this series.  Heather’s shenanigans are what keep me coming back.  In this adventure, Jordan (International Pop star, Coopers’s brother, and Heather’s ex-boyfriend) is back with his now wife Tania Trance (the very one who stole Jordan from Heather).  Tania is pregnant and someone is out to get her.  For reasons Heather can’t explain, Tania feels safe with her and knows she’ll help her.  Let the drama ensue.

Meg Cabot doesn’t waste any time throwing us into Heather’s newest adventure.  Although this is the fourth book in the Heather Wells Mysteries series, Ms. Cabot gives her readers enough background to follow along without feeling lost or confused.  Keeping with the theme of the other books, each chapter starts with song lyrics written by the characters.  Some of the songs are heartfelt and warm, others are laced with humor.  I like to figure out how they are linked to the chapters.

Although I enjoyed this novel, there was one thing that disappointed me.  I thought the novel was very short. I realize it’s supposed to be a quick, fun read but it was too short.  It’s the kind of book you take with you for a long weekend to read while you are lounging at the beach or pool.  The substance however, is funny and well written.  On one hand, I’m glad it wasn’t a drawn out mystery but on the other, it would have been nice to spend a little more time with Heather, Cooper and the NYC gang.

Final Take: 4/5

 

Julie's Review: My Fair Lazy

Summary: Readers have followed Jen Lancaster through job loss, sucky city living, weight loss attempts, and 1980s nostalgia. Now Jen chronicles her efforts to achieve cultural enlightenment, with some hilarious missteps and genuine moments of inspiration along the way. And she does so by any means necessary: reading canonical literature, viewing classic films, attending the opera, researching artisan cheeses, and even enrolling in etiquette classes to improve her social graces. In Jen's corner is a crack team of experts, including Page Six socialites, gourmet chefs, an opera aficionado, and a master sommelier. She may discover that well-regarded, high-priced stinky cheese tastes exactly as bad as it smells, and that her love for Kraft American Singles is forever. But one thing's for certain: Eliza Doolittle's got nothing on Jen Lancaster-and failure is an option. ~amazon.com  

Review: A few years ago Alice introduced me to Jen Lancaster with her first memoir, Bitter is the New Black. Now, I didn't really like the book overall but I did find Jen to be honest, funny, bitter and a little self-involved.  It wasn't until a couple years ago when my sister and I went to see Jennifer Weiner and her at an event where she hooked me. She is so damn funny in person. I found her humor to be sarcastic, biting and refreshing. She pokes fun at herself easily and is a running commentary on the stupidity of people. I admit that was back in 2010, so it's been 2 years and almost 2 books later but I will catch up eventually.

My Fair Lazy is a recounting of Jen trying to become savvy again in a world where conversations don't revolve around reality tv. If it's a reality show, Jen watched it. What she began to realize was that not everyone thought that reality tv was relevant or really cultural. So Jen wanted to do a "Jenassiance". She wanted to quit being a dumb-ass and start learning about different things. As I read the book, I laughed out loud and I shook my head a lot. With the help of her friends she started taking in plays, reading classics novels, learning about wines and learning how to socialize without saying everything that comes into her head. Not only in Jen humorous but I learned something along the way as well. I learned that since reading Bitter is the New Black, Jen has matured. I guess going through ups and downs in life will make you reassess things. She begins to realize there are things in life that don't have you parked in front of the tv and that get you out of the house. Not only that but it brings her and Fletch a bit closer as they start to experience some of Jen's pursuits together.

I don't know if Jen will ever give up her reality tv addiction but the fact that she was able and willing to go out of her comfort zone is something that I think all of us adults could do a little more. I'm not addicted to reality tv like Jen is but I do like my scripted tv. I have scaled back since having kids but my DVR is almost always in use on a weekday night. I would love to take a wine class because I love a great bottle (ok, even a decent bottle) but I'd love to learn more or learn why I love the wines that I do.

What I also love about her books is that I know what she's talking about when she refers to places in Chicago. I love that familiarity when reading a book. 

I need to catch up on Bright Lights, Big Ass?; Such a Pretty Fat; Pretty in Plaid. Plus she's got a new book coming out called Jeneration X. I loved that title. If you are looking for a humorous book for a spring or summer weekend read than I can pretty much tell you to pick up on of Jen Lancaster's memoirs. If you are looking to keep up with her on a regular basis, then you need to check out her blog: Jennsylvania.  

Final Take: 4/5


 

Parent's Corner: If You Give a Kid a Cookie Will He Shut the $*%& Up?

Jenn's Thoughts:  Unlike, Go the F**k to Sleep, which is an original story told in rhyming verse, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a spoof of the children's story, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. The original tale is an imaginative supposition of the chain of events set into motion by feeding the mouse, ending in having to give the mouse another cookie. It's a book that helps children think through consequences and imagine, 'what if'. I actually find the original a little too cutesy for me, so I was interested to read the spoof.

The spoof takes the zaniness in another direction, starting with a father who is too busy drinking to pay attention to his child. The chaos that ensues is amusing, but certainly not as raucously funny as Go the F**k to Sleep. The premise actually detracts from the story for me; there is never a time when it's okay to not pay attention to your child. However, if you can get beyond that, it's a good chuckle.

Julie's Thoughts: Don't leave If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up?: A Parody for Adults laying around the house especially if you have a child that is trying to read everything in sight. Sure it looks like a children's book but it is definitely not. I can't say that we've read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (If You Give...) in our house, so I don't know how closely this parody follows the original text. What I can say that while I found it highly entertaining and chuckle worthy; I didn't feel that it was as relatable as Go the F**k to Sleep. I don't know too many parents who end up in jail and are handed divorce papers because of events steming from their kids tantrums. Yes I know that it's a parody/satire but it still needs to draw in its audience. The illustrations are quite good and very descriptive of the events taking place on each page. For me, this would have worked better if it has centered around daily life and not extremes. If you give a kid a cookie will he...eat his dinner, go to bed, jump around like a jumping bean, etc. You know all the things parents regret doing even for a moment of silence.

That being said, it is definitely enterataining and would make a great holiday gift for your friends who have a sense of humor.

I wonder where this trend of parody books will take us. Will we see more children's books being hijacked for adult humor? It will be interesting to see if this is a long-standing genre or a flash in the pan.


Thanks to St. Martin's Press for providing Jenn and I our copies.

Alice's Review: Spooky Little Girl

Summary:  Death is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.
Coming home from a Hawaiian vacation with her best girlfriends, Lucy Fisher is stunned to find everything she owns tossed out on her front lawn, the locks changed, and her fiancé’s phone disconnected—plus she’s just lost her job. With her world spinning wildly out of her control, Lucy decides to make a new start and moves upstate to live with her sister and nephew. But then things take an even more dramatic turn: A fatal encounter with public transportation lands Lucy not in the hereafter but in the nearly hereafter. She’s back in school, learning the parameters of spooking and how to become a successful spirit in order to complete a ghostly assignment. If Lucy succeeds, she’s guaranteed a spot in the next level of the afterlife—but until then, she’s stuck as a ghost in the last place she would ever want to be. Trying to avoid being trapped on earth for all eternity, Lucy crosses the line between life and death and back again when she returns home. Navigating the perilous channels of the paranormal, she’s determined to find out why her life crumbled and why, despite her ghastly death, no one seems to have noticed she’s gone. But urgency on the spectral plane—in the departed person of her feisty grandmother, who is risking both their eternal lives—requires attention, and Lucy realizes that you get only one chance to be spectacular in death. ~amazon.com

Review: I love Laurie Notaro; I do. Even before I knew who Jen Lancaster was, I was getting splitting stitches in my side from laughing at her misadventures since The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life. Also, I am totally addicted to the TV show Ghost Adventures; so if Laurie Notaro and Ghost Adventures had a love child, it would be SpookyLittle Girl.

This is by far the funniest book I have read so far this year. I chose this novel because I needed one with a size in the title for the What’s in a Name? Challenge. The truth is I really wasn’t looking forward to reading it. Although I love her true-life comedy books, I tried to read Ms. Notaro’s first attempt at fiction and sadly couldn’t make it past page 10. I’m glad I gave this one a try because it was quite a pleasant surprise.

After returning from a bad vacation in Hawaii – I didn’t think that was possible – Lucy returns to have her stuff thrown all across the lawn of the home she shares with her fiance Martin. Then she is fired from her job. With a broken heart, unemployed Lucy moves in with her sister Alice (great name). And if things aren’t terrible enough for her, on her way to the unemployment office she accidentally steps in front of a bus and meets an unexpected and early demise. What happens next is one of the best ghost stories (okay, this only ghost story) I have ever read.

Lucy endures weeks of “spook” training before heading back to earth to complete an assignment before she heads to the “State,” her final destination. Lucy hopes to return to Alice’s house, to help her sister, but things never happen as planned, even in death. Lucy heads right back to Martin’s house to complete her mission. What ensues is a very humorous adventure to solve the mysterious mission.

I loved the characters in this novel. Naunie, Lucy’s grandmother was fantastic. She reminded me a bit of Grandma Mazur from Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series. She had plenty of moxie. I love how Ms. Notaro explains the many Lady in White ghosts. You know whom I am talking about, no matter where you are there is always a legend of a Lady in White ghost. (Annie from Annie’s Road in Totowa, NJ is our local Lady in White.) I also enjoyed being party of Lucy’s relationship with Tulip, her rescued dog. And the ghost hunt/séance scene still makes me crack up just thinking of it.

Overall, this is a great book that will appeal to lovers of the paranormal or to anyone who believes in a second chance to get it right. And even if you don’t believe in second chances, there is always laughter. And really who doesn’t like to laugh?

Final Take: 4/5

Alice's Review: Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut

Summary:  Demonstrating Woody Allen's magical math equation, comedy = tragedy + time, a sensational collection of witty essays about life, love, hate, kids, work, school, and more from the author of The Ex-Mrs. Hedgefund and Arm Candy.  Jill Kargman is a mother, wife, and writer living the life in New York City . . . a life that includes camping out in a one-bedroom apartment with some unfortunate (and furry) roommates, battling the Momzillas of Manhattan, and coming to terms with her desire for gay men. In this entertaining collection of observations, Kargman offers her unique, wickedly funny perspective as she zips around Manhattan with three kids in tow. Kargman tackles issues big and small with sharp wit and laugh-out-loud humor: her love of the smell of gasoline, her new names for nail polishes, her adventures in New York City real estate, and her fear of mimes, clowns, and other haunting things. Whether it's surviving a family road trip or why she can't stand Cirque du So Lame, living with a mommy vagina the size of the Holland Tunnel or surviving the hell that was her first job out of college, Kargman's nutty self triumphs, thanks to a wonderfully wise outlook and sense of fun that makes the best of everything that gets thrown her way. And if that's not enough, Kargman illustrates her reflections with doodles that capture her refreshing voice. - Amazon.com

Review:  I love to laugh.  Really, doesn't everyone?  I looked forward to reading Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut so I could laughing my way through these essays and observations.  I was expecting good writing tinged with humor and wit.  I'm pleased to say I got that.  This is the perfect little book to carry about in your purse or backpack, the kind you take out when you are waiting in line or have a few minutes to yourself or need a good laugh. 

Ms. Kargman covered a variety of topics from her kids to marriage to fears.  I loved her list of the times her kids embarrassed her.  Her adventures in the apartment with the brothel and frat boy neighbors left me in stitches.  I also enjoyed the way she infused pop culture into almost each and every page.  I loved that she's a real New Yorker.

What I didn't expect was how mean Ms. Kargman came across.  Perhaps mean is too harsh, blunt is more like it.  This isn't a PG read.  It's laced with cursing and semi-obscene humorous little drawings.  It might make you blush a little, but it's worth it.  You'll laugh too.

Final Take: 3/5

Parent's Corner: Go the F--k to Sleep

,Summary: Go the F--k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach's verses perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity.

With illustrations by Ricardo Cortes, Go the F--k to Sleep is beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny--a book for parents new, old, and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children. ~product description

Review:  Our Children's Corner post is a weekly exploration of children's literature, but this week we also have a special post just for parents.  When I read about this book pre-publishing I thought it was a brilliant idea.  And now that I've read it?  I think it's genius.

It's 10 o'clock at night and she's still dancing around her room. 'No, you don't need a drink or another hug (you've had 30), you can reach your stuffed animals because they're all on your bed...' If this scenario is remotely familiar to you and you have a sense of humor about parenting (and how can you not?!?), then this book is definitely for you.

This 20 page bed time story for parents is laugh out loud funny and beautifully illustrated. As the child tries the parent's patience, 38 minutes and counting, the parent's inner monologue is in rhyming verse reminiscent of so many children's bedtime stories. Frustration mounts as the parent gets more desperate but finally relief is in sight... Or is it?

I highly recommend this for any parent, new or old. Sometimes as a parent you just need to laugh -hey, it's better than crying!  Right?

Final Take:  5/5

* If you don't want this book sitting around the house, you can get it as an audio book, read by Samuel L. Jackson, from audible.com -and at the moment it's free!  (Special thanks to Jennifer in Virginia for finding this spectacular gem of a recording.)

Jenn's Review: Married with Zombies

Summary:  A heartwarming tale of terror in the middle of the zombie apocalypse.

Meet Sarah and David.

Once upon a time they met and fell in love. But now they're on the verge of divorce and going to couples' counseling. On a routine trip to their counselor, they notice a few odd things - the lack of cars on the highway, the missing security guard, and the fact that their counselor, Dr. Kelly, is ripping out her previous client's throat.

Meet the Zombies.

Now, Sarah and David are fighting for survival in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. But, just because there are zombies, doesn't mean your other problems go away. If the zombies don't eat their brains, they might just kill each other.

Review:  This is a fast but amusing read about a couple on the rocks who get it together while fighting zombies together.  Sarah and David use the cheesy advice that Dr. Kelly has been doling out to help them fight their new issues, zombies wanting to eat their brains.  Nothing like the living dead to help you set aside your petty differences, right?

While I didn't find this as raucously funny as some reviewers, I still was chuckling to myself quite a bit -especially over the marital advice that describes each chapter, such as,

"Balance the workload in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing all the zombies."

And far more frightening then the zombies are the religious cults that pop up trying to amass more followers by force and fear.

Jesse Petersen has a fun website put together too with a marital quizzes (like How Long Would Your Relationship Last in a Zombie Apocalypse?), lists of what movie titles should have been zombie movies, etc.  It's definitely worth checking out.  You can also sample the first chapter of the book to see if you think you're ready to be Married with Zombies (first chapter link).

This story fits my twisted sense of humor, though as zombie books go I think Pride and Prejudice and Zombies may have been funnier because of the juxtaposition of the mash-up.  I will certainly continue to read Living with the Dead series for levity.  It makes a great summer beach read... if your warped like me.

Final Take:  3.5/5.0

Jenn's Review: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Summary:  "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains." 

So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. 

What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. 

Can she vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd actually want to read.

Review:  If Austen is sacred to you, I doubt you have picked up this book. Obviously, I'm not opposed to mash-ups or I wouldn't be reading this. I will explain my stance on the matter with a parallel, in no attempt to sway but solely as perspective for my review.

As a trained musician, I believe that what we do to Opera would be considered a crime by 19th century composers. Opera was the musical theatre of the day, only more so. It was meant for the lower classes and upper classes alike because it was in their native tongue and it was understood. It wasn't meant to be placed on a pedestal as a highbrow art form that is inaccessible to the masses. Is it an important part of the history of vocal music? Certainly, but it's not the be-all, end-all. I feel the same way about classic literature. I enjoy, it, I like to read it, but I don't believe it's meant to be on an alabaster altar, untouchable in it's perfection. [getting off soapbox]

However, this particular mash-up also requires a bit of a dark, twisted sense of humor:

"Penny's father, mad with grief, had thrown himself into a vat of boiling perfume. By the time his apprentices pulled him out, he had been badly disfigured and rendered blind. Doctors were unsure if he would survive, or if the stench would ever leave him." ~page 61

If the idea of Kill Bill meeting Looney Tunes being set in the early 19th century in the middle of a love story is abhorrent to you, perhaps this novel is not for you.  Frighteningly, it's like Seth Grahame-Smith lives in my head.

The zombie bits are dispersed throughout the novel in all the places where I found the original a little, well, sluggish. No, it isn't ultra-violent and gory, but it's got enough blood and guts to add a little excitement. Elizabeth is a trained warrior remember, so there are also times when she must defend her or her family's honor as well. (Picture the drawing room proposal between Elizabeth and Darcy coming to blows...)

A surprising amount of the dialogue is maintained. However, some of the additional dialogue cracked me up:

"...his intentions were respectable, for Darcy merely meant to retrieve his Brown Bess, which Elizabeth had affixed to her back during her walk. She remembered the lead ammunition in her pocket and offered it to him. "Your balls, Mr. Darcy?" He reached out and closed her hand around them, and offered, "They belong to you, Miss Bennet." Upon this, their colour changed, and they were forced to look away from one another, lest they laugh." ~page 205

This was a good laugh and a great way to start the new year.  Does it replace the original? Never. Would you appreciate it if you haven't read Austen? I'm not sure.  Will I read more by Seth Grahame-Smith?  Absolutely!  Did it make me appreciate Pride and Prejudice more? Surprisingly, yes. It made me reflect on it with an affection deeper than I was aware I possessed.  Actually, I feel the need, maybe not to re-read, but perhaps to re-watch one of the movies again. Now if only I could choose which film version...

Final Take:  4.0/ 5.0

Julie's Review: Meeting Mr. Wrong

Summary: 'Don't email me if you want a supermodel. I'm twenty-two, divorced, and I have twins. I'm also overweight, unattractive, and have no education to speak of. I'm pretty much not going to bring anything to the table except the fact that I'm pretty nice and won't ask you to pay my bills. Here's my email address. Don't email if you're full of it.'

With this ad, Stephanie Snowe relaunches herself into the world of dating. In this real-life account, she discovers that the search for Mr. Right can include a lot of wrong turns. With light-hearted sass, Stephanie introduces us to each Tom, Dick, and Denny, and their neuroses, pets, mullets, lies, and puking.

A girl can get discouraged having to deal with dive-bombing birds, first-date proposals, and eavesdropping mothers. Is there a knight in shining armor out there with a higher IQ than his horse? Stephanie hopes so. ~amazon.com

Review: All I have to say is "Thank GOD I'm not single." I'm 35 and can't imagine it and Stephanie did it when she was 22 and had newborn twins!! Meeting Mr. Wrong: The Romantic Misadventures of a Southern Belleis a humorous retelling of her trials of finding love and acceptance by the opposite sex via online dating. Stephanie, and I feel I can call her this because of her willingness to share with us, has moxy. Frankly I don't know if I could have done what she did with 2 young kids at home. I loved the honesty of her online ad and how it just proves that men really don't read or at least read and comprehend.

Stephanie meets some freaks and I mean FREAKS while trying online dating. She finds humor in every situation even when it's bleak. I wonder if she found humor in them when they were happening or if it was upon reflection? Either way it made for good reading.

My favorite story was about the guy at the grocery store who hit on her until he figured out he she had kids. The kicker of it was that she was asking him where the baby formula was in the store! LOL Men really are clueless.

It does end happily for Stephanie. She found her frog among the toads. To keep up with Stephanie on a regular basis you can follow her blog Here

I'd love for Stephanie to write about her trials as a single mom. I'm sure she could bring humor to a very stressful subject. I'd also like to read about her and Jason's courtship. So there you go Stephanie, 2 more books for you to write!

I want to thank Stephanie for sending me this book. It was a fun book to read and the perfect stress reliever.

Final Take: 3.75/5

Julie's Review: The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club

Summary: This collection of columns, originally written for the Arizona Republic, details Notaro's daring exploits and comical mishaps as she matures from wild teenager to disheveled adult. Her vignettes are humorous if unoriginal. "The Useless Black Bra and the Stinkin'-drunk Twelve-step Program" is a classic drinking story, complete with the lost friend who is eventually found in a neighbor's front yard wearing only a bra. This hard-drinking, chain-smoking approach to partying inevitably leads to some punishing hangovers; in one extreme case, Notaro is mistaken for a homeless person while en route to jury duty in "Going Courtin'." Not surprisingly, disregard for her appearance diminishes her chances of fulfilling her mother's dream and bringing home from the trial a "balding, sexually repressed twenty-seven-year-old attorney strangled in a Perry Ellis necktie." Notaro's QVC-addicted mother is predictably in opposition to and embarrassed by her daughter's bad-girl antics. In "Waking Angela Up," Notaro compares herself to Janeane Garofalo, and there indeed are clear similarities in the blunt self-deprecation that fuels both women's humor. Notaro, however, lacks the biting originality of her more famous counterpart. In "This Is a Public Service Announcement," Notaro rails against public restroom users, including "the hoverer" and "the talker." Her existing fans will agree with these sentiments, while new readers might simply shrug, thinking, "Who doesn't hate those characters?" ~amazon.com/publishers weekly

Review: A friend recommended this book to me after she purchased another one of Ms. Notaro's books and I commented that I had never heard of her. Well now I have and she's pretty funny. If I lived in Arizona and read the paper, I would look forward to her column on a regular basis. This was the perfect book to start out 2008 with, it was short and an easy read and funny. I started it earlier today and finished it a little bit ago with breaks in between reading sessions due to having a 2 year old, but when I was reading it I was laughing out loud. My husband even commented that it must be funny because I don't normally laugh out loud while reading books, Stephanie Plum books aside.

I think almost anyone can identify with some of the stories in the book especially anyone who went through the "what the hell did I do last night" phase during and/or after college. Some stories were more funny than others but that's to be expected. What I might find hilarious, some one else won't and vice versa, I guess that's why it's a collection of her column, something for everyone. Will I run out and buy another one of her books, probably not, but I would read her again by getting it at the library or having it loaned to me.

Final Take: 3.75/5